


I Choose You

by ThisIsMyTherapy



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 18:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10169363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsMyTherapy/pseuds/ThisIsMyTherapy
Summary: This is my response to last weeks episode and what I needed to happen.   It hurt my soul and I don't know why.  So if you aren't completely caught up with Supernatural, proceed with caution, it may spoil a little.  It's very short, but I was legit angry.





	

Chapter One

 

Dean was numb as he walked to the impala.  He didn’t remember opening the door, getting in, turning on the ignition, putting it in drive, or the drive back to the bunker.  But now, as he stands in the empty space, alone, the last three days wash over him, making him buckle at the knees, clutching at his chest trying to take in a breath.

 

_ “Dean, listen,” Mary pleaded. _

 

_ “I think you should go Mary,” Dean bit out pointing to the door.  Mary’s face crumpled at the use of her name.  She looked to Sam, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.  Dean turned his back on her as she climbed the stairs and walked away. _

 

_ “Wanna talk about it?”  Sam asked several minutes after the door closed behind her. _

 

_ “No,” Dean whispered.  He had lost his mom when he was just a boy and thought that was the worst pain he had ever felt, but the betrayal was too much.  He had her back, but she wasn’t his mom.  She was Mary Winchester, hunter.  Dean wasn’t a boy anymore.  He has been grown since the day they buried her, but for once, just once, he wanted to come first.  But even now, she chose the British over her own son and then lied about it. _

 

_ “Maybe we should hear her out,” Sam said without looking at his brother. _

 

_ Dean scuffed, “What?” _

 

_ “Just, I’m pissed too, but she needs to have a reason,” Sam replied. _

 

_ “I need a drink,” Dean said standing up to grab his jacket and car keys.  Just before he bounded up the stairs to get out the bunker that seemed to be closing in on him he turned to Sam, “you know, this playing the middle is really getting old.” _

 

_ “What do you mean?” Sam asked. _

 

_ “It means one of these days you need  to pick a side.” _

 

Dean gasped, dropped to the ground, and then crawled to the desk to search for something strong to drink.  Remembering his earlier visitor, he used the desk as leverage, pulled himself up, and staggered to the table where the half full bottle of Scotch waited for him.  Slinking down in the chair, he took a long swig, welcoming the burn it created down his throat.

 

Slamming the bottle on the table, he thought about what he said to Sam before the night unfolded.  When he told him to pick a side, he never thought it wouldn’t be his.

 

_ “Thought you went ‘out’,” Dean said to Sam accusingly. _

 

_ “And you went out to grab a ‘drink’?” Sam bit back. _

 

_ They stared at each other, each waiting for the other to give.  Sam had gone to the British Facility on his mom’s request.  At first he was skeptical, but seeing it, killing the Alpha Vampire, and having a life that didn’t involve hunting was just too good.  He knew Dean wouldn’t be so easily swayed, but he was in.  His brother would see that it was the right thing to do.  Mary cleared her throat, making both boys look her way.  A draw. _

 

_ “Dean,” Mary started, “I need you to know why I’m doing this.  Why we’re doing this,” she finished, placing her hand on Sam’s shoulder. _

 

_ Dean broke eye contact with Mary and locked eyes with his brother.  “We’re,” he repeated with a disgusted laugh and shaking his head.   _

 

_ “Just hear me out Dean,” Sam pleaded.  Dean broke eye contact and looked toward the ground, licking his lips and shaking his head like something would start making sense. _

 

_ “We have a chance to get out.  A real chance,” Sam continued.  “They have the means, the weapons, the tech, and with us--” _

 

_ “Us?”  Dean asked incredulously, letting out a dark laugh.  “When was I brought into the loop?  When was I asked?  When did I say I wanted this? Hell, when did you?” Dean pointed an angry finger at Sam. _

 

_ “The moment I put the bullet in the Alpha’s head,” Sam answered. _

 

_ Dean narrowed his eyes at his baby brother, tongue pressed against his lower lip, and took him in.  Shaking his head in understanding, even though Dean was so far from grasping what was happening, he finally spoke.  “Well, it looks like you picked a side Sammy.” _

 

_ “Dean,” Sam’s voice cracked, but Dean was already walking away. _

 

Dean took another long drink of Scotch, but no matter how much he drank, the pain in his chest wouldn’t ease.  His whole life, he had put everyone before himself.  When his mom died, he raised Sammy so his dad could go off on his quests to find the demon who took her.  He’s literally been to hell and back, purgatory, been beaten, and fucking died.  All for the greater good, to keep his brother safe, to save the Goddamned world.  And in the end, he found himself alone with an expensive bottle of Scotch to keep him company.  He has always chose everyone else, just once, he needed someone to choose him.

 

Dean finished the last bit of Scotch and laid his head on the table.  He’s not sure how much time passed, but as he started to drift off to sleep; he heard the door open and close, and then feather-like taps on the stairs.

 

“Dean,” came a deep voice as an arm slide over his shoulder.  Dean looked up to meet ocean blue eyes.

 

“Cas,” he breathed out, relief washing over him.

 

Crouched in front of Dean, Cas searched his glassy green eyes.  “What happened?”  He asked.  Dean’s face crumpled as he let out a sob.  Clutching Cas’ shirt, Dean pulled him closer, buried his head in the crock of his neck and cried.  Cas pulled him tighter and held him through it.

 

********

 

Cas held Dean long after his tears dried up.  He loosened his hold to rub circles on his back trying to comfort him until he was ready to tell him what happened.  

 

“How’d you know?” Dean whispered, never lifting his head.  Cas slowed his circles, but continued to move his hand over Dean’s back.

 

“You texted me,” Cas answered.  

 

“I did?”  Dean asked, pulling out of Cas’ embrace to look at his phone.  Sure enough, there was the text he didn’t remember sending.

 

**Dean: Cas, I need you**

 

Shit.  Even Dean’s subconscious knew Cas would be the only one to ease the pain in his chest.  And he came.  Dean put his phone back in his pocket and looked into concerned blue eyes.

 

“Tell me what happened Dean,” Cas asked.  So Dean told him everything.  About Mary working with the British Men of Letters, the confrontation, he and Sam’s conversation, the vampires, and Sam choosing them over Dean.

 

“Just once Cas, just fucking once, I needed them to choose me,” Dean whispered at the end, tears starting to form again as he looked toward the floor.

 

“Dean,” Cas said wanting him to look at him, but Dean continued to look at the ground.  “Dean,” Cas said gentler, reaching up to cup his face and move his head to be even with his.  “ _ I  _ choose you,” he said with conviction.  

 

Dean closed his eyes and pushed his cheek further into Cas’ palm.

“Look at me Dean,” Cas demanded gently.  Slowly, Dean’s green eyes appeared behind his eyelids as he peered into the endless sea of Cas’.  “I’ve been choosing you since before I rescued you from Hell.  And I choose you Every. Single. Day.”  Cas told him searching his eyes, waiting for his words to sink in.  Dean licked his lips, and then flicked his gaze to Cas’ before being swallowed up into his ocean blue eyes again.  Dean hadn’t said anything, so Cas moved in closer.

 

“I.  Choose.  You,” Cas reiterated emphasizing every word.

 

Dean was never good with words, but he could show Cas how he felt; that he chooses Cas too.  That he needs him in every way--to breath, to feel, to  _ live. _ Dean closed the distance and brushed his lips with Cas’.  Cas pulled him in closer pressing their lips together harder.  He gasped out a breath making his lips part and Dean took advantage, slipping his tongue in the opening.  He flicked his tongue against Cas’ while moving out of his chair and sliding to floor to mirror Cas’ position.  Snaking his hands up his arms to his shoulders, Dean settled his fingers at the nape of Cas’ neck, tangling in his hair. 

 

Their tongues teased each other slowly, neither of them trying to rush, but feeling the slow build in their mouth, moving down their necks, their chest, settling in their bellies, and then below.  Dean pulled back to look at Cas.  Green eyes searched blue and Dean was mesmerized by what he saw.  Heat, desire, and unconditional love poured out, slapping him in his chest.  Cas has been his constant since the day he pulled him from Hell, branding him both on his arm and his heart.  He couldn’t look back at a time he hasn’t needed him.  Not because he was an angel or he needed saving, but because he was a part of him, a part of his soul.

 

Dean’s hands moved from the back of Cas’ neck to cup his face.  The pain in his chest wasn’t the same as it was before Cas showed up.  Before it ached because it was empty, broken.  Now it was filled with love, longing for his blue-eyed angel.

 

“I love you Cas.”  The words leaked out on an exhale, no longer able to stay unspoken.  Cas’ lips curved into a slow smile.

 

“I love you Dean,”  Cas whispered back, leaning in to brush his lips against Dean’s.  Dean kissed him back slowly and softly, before the need was too much.  The need to feel only Cas, to be consumed by him.  

 

Dean’s hands moved back to the nape of Cas’ neck as he pulled him closer to him.  Cas bit Dean’s bottom lip causing him to let out a moan.  Cas wrapped his arms around Dean holding on as he was pushed to the ground.  Dean’s hands moved to the side of Cas’ head to brace himself so he didn’t crush him and positioned himself between his legs.  They were hands, tongues, moans, and soft bites as they devoured each other.  Dean pulled back to look at him one more time before they were lost to each other.

 

“Tell me again,” Dean panted and looked into Cas’ blue eyes that were bordering on black now.  Cas sat up and cupped Dean’s face with his right hand bracing himself with the left.

 

“I. Choose. You.” Cas told him.  

 

Dean growled, pushing Cas back to the ground, taking his lips forcefully.  They consumed each other in every way with soft whispers of love, want, and pure need.  The need to make the other know how cherished they were.  That no matter what, they would always choose the other--on earth, in Heaven, in Hell, and everywhere inbetween.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I am in the process of writing my first Destiel fic for one of my best friends, but after watching this last episode I was wrecked. I had to get this out. I have absolutely no clue why this hurt my soul the way it did, but this is my reaction. <3


End file.
